


Against the Rules

by real__kazekage



Series: Forbidden Love [3]
Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M, First Kiss, Forbidden, Young Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:07:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23744284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/real__kazekage/pseuds/real__kazekage
Summary: Cullen and Azura Amell break the rules for the first time.
Relationships: Female Amell/Cullen Rutherford
Series: Forbidden Love [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1489298
Kudos: 6





	Against the Rules

_“You know, I tried to find a way,_

_A means to keep it high,_

_Forced to yield to blinded sentiment_

_And you know, I tried to give it up,_

_With effort to make sense_

_Of senseless cries and smiles stirred by vain”_

-Killing Me Inside, ATB

* * *

The library within the tower of magi was usually very busy. Many mages read various books about spells, curses, famous mages, the Chantry, and so much more. There are both apprentices and senior mages who visit the library throughout the day. Of course there are templars watching them carefully, but some do speak with the mages: not many but some. The library is one of the only places were a mage can find a form of entertainment.

Today, Azura Amell was studying with Jowan at a large dark wooden table against the stone wall. A single candle lit their books as they read the pages. They must write a short paper about the dangers of blood magic and present it to their senior mage instructor tomorrow morning. There are not many books about blood magic for obvious reasons; so they aren’t tempted by it. The only books that are written about the topic are books such as ‘The Dangerous Magic’ or “Unholy Magic”. 

Azura turned the pages carefully as she read, but it was a little difficult due to her burned hand. She still had Cullen's wrap around it, but washed it last night to stop any infection. The healer told her it would take about a week to be completely healed, so she has to keep it wrapped up and cleaned. But, Marker, it is so itchy! Jowan stared at a portrait of a mage sacrificing a human within his book.

“Do you think this really happens?” he whispered more so to himself, but she overheard him. She lowered her book down to the table and gazed over to his book, a frown drawn on her lips. The portrait was horrid; the man was holding the human down over a stone table with various runes written on it and blood dripping from every angle.

“Of course it does,” she whispered back to him, hoping not to bring attention to themselves. “If the chantry says so then it does.”

He did not speak as he stared at the page. “But,” he pressed his lips together. “What if they are lying.”

Her eyes widened at his words and grabbed the book out of his hands. “Don’t say that! “ she nearly shouted, causing many people to hush them loudly. A slight pink color appeared on her pale features. She lowered her head closer to him. “What if someone hears you?” she paused to look over at the Templars, but it is so hard to see if they are watching because many wear helmets over their faces. “What if a Templar hears you? Do you want to be **_tranquil_**?!”

Jowan’s eyes widened at that word and shook his head. “No. I'd rather die,” he whispered back to her. 

She nodded in agreeance and turned her attention back to the book in her hands. Honestly, reading about blood magic makes her skin crawl in fear. How could anyone think this was magic? It is barbaric and monstrous. Yet, the book said so many mages have chosen the path of blood magic and it is acceptable in Tervinter. In fact, the books say they openly practice blood mage in Tervinter circles. The thought of people openly practicing blood magic terrifies her to no end. She placed the book back on the table but turned the page so they wouldn't have to look at the portrait anymore.

Jowan’s elbow pushed against her side causing her train of thought to stop. She glared over at him but he had a faint smile on his lips. She followed his gaze to see Sister Lily talking with a Templar: her short red hair was tucked behind her ear as they spoke. Azura gazed back to Jowan who was staring lovingly at Lily; his dark blue hues shining as if she was the brightest star in the night sky. Honestly, Azura has never seen Jowan as enraptured with someone in all her life until this moment. 

“Are you daft?” She whispered at Jowan, and her voice caused him to break out of his trance. “You cannot be with her! She is a sister.”

Jowan glared over at Azura with a frown on his face, “Not yet, she is in training.” His voice is low and almost noncoherent. “Besides, how can you say anything about forbidden affairs?’

She blinked a few times at his question and raised her hand up slightly. “Excuse me?” 

He rolled his shoulders back and leaned back in his chair. “You and that Templar, Cullen. Everyone talks about you two.” 

His words caused her eyes to widen as she stared at him. Her lips parted in shock, nearly about to drop to the floor. Her throat felt so dry and she feared no words would escape. “There is nothing between me and Cullen.”

Jowan rolled his eyes and leaned forward, his elbows resting on the table. “Don’t lie Azura. I see the way he looks at you. When we are in class his eyes are only on you, unless someone does something wrong, but they always return to you. When we are walking down the hall and if he is there , he watches you. Honestly, I’m surprised his commander doesn’t get on him about it.”

Azura only stared at him in shock and disbelief. Are people really talking about them? Marker, this is so embarrassing and wrong. Yes, she does notice he looks at her a lot, but it doesn’t bother her. Honestly, the two of them have gotten a little closer after she burned her hand in a fit of blinding rage at Anders. Yes, they have been talking openly: well, she does most of the talking. At times he can barely keep eye contact with her, but it is endearing to her. Yes, they have been walking together to class but it is in the group of students: never alone. That does not mean there is anything between them.

“Jowan,” her voice was low and serious causing him to tense up in his chair. “There is nothing between me and Cullen. You better tell everyone that too.”

He only nodded with a glint of fear in his eyes. He returned his gaze back to the book on the table, while she stared straight ahead. She spotted Cullen from the corner of her eye as he walked into the library. He walked over to the other templars and they spoke quietly, not wanting to disturb the mages studying. Azura kept her gaze down at the table, but watched him from the corner of her eyes. He was silently laughing with the other templars but she cannot deny how handsome he truly is: the way his eyes light up when he smiles and even the snort that he can heard from his silent laugh. A tiny smile appeared on her lips as she gazed at him. He must have felt her staring because he turned his attention toward her, but she lowered her head quick enough so he didn't see her staring. She placed her hands under her chin in a feeble attempt to cover the flush growing over her cheeks.

"Azura?" A soft voice was heard at her side and she gazed up only to see Cullen.

Jowan snickered beside her, but she ignored him. She sat straight up as she looked up at him. "Good afternoon, Cullen. Is there something we can do for you?"

He shook his head. "I wanted to check on your hand."

She raised her wrapped hand up toward him, "It is recovering. The healer said probably a week and it will be back to normal." she paused and looked at the red velvet wrap around her hand: remembering it was his. "Oh, do you want your wrap back?"

A soft pink blush grew across his cheek. "No, no....keep it, to you know, help the process. I just wanted to make sure you were recovering."

She lowered her hand back on the table. "I am, thank you for asking. Well, Jowan and I have work to do so...."

He looked over to Jowan who only kept his head in the book, not daring to make eye contact with a templar unless necessary. His soft expression tightened for a moment as he gazed down at Jowan, but softened again when he looked at Azura. "Right, of course."

Cullen walked back over to the other templars standing by the door. Jowan looked up from his book and another snicker escaped him.

"And you say he isn't interested in you," he whispered and shook his head.

Azura glared at him, but for once she didn't have a snarky comment back to him. She opened the blood magic book once again and desperately tried to read the pages.

* * *

"Keep washing the burn," the healer spoke to Azura as she held her hand and a green glow escaped her hand around Azura's. The magic felt so warm and comforting around her. The burning sensation faded as the magic worked on the burned area. Azura and healer Petra were alone in Petra's room, but of course no non senior mage has their own room. Petra shared a room with Niall, but Niall was already asleep in his bed and his soft snores could be heard from his side of the room. Petra released Azura's hand as the green glow faded away, and she gently wrapped the red wrap around her pale hand once again.

"This is so soft," Petra whispered. "Where did you get it? Usually students such as yourself don't own such nice items like this."

"Oh it's-" she quickly pressed her lips together because she knew she couldn't tell Petra the truth. She cannot tell her that this was Cullen's! "It's the knight commander's. He gave it to me after I burned myself."

Petra raised her brown. "Really? I am surprised he even gave you this instead of punishing you. I guess you are just lucky."

"Yeah," Azura's eyes gazed away from Petra. "I guess so."

Petra loosely tied the wrap around her wounded hand. Azura then stood up from the chair. "Thank you Petra."

"Of course," Petra smiled softly at her. "Be careful going back to the girl's dorm. If any templar stops you tell them you were with me."

Azura only nodded and quietly left the room, trying not to wake up Niall from his sleep. She closed the wooden door behind her once she was out in the main hall. The hall was empty and dimly lit from the candles on the wall. Azura walked down the hall back toward the staircase, however she walked extremely slowly. Her mind was racing from the events of the day. What if people are talking about her and Cullen? She is already on thin ice with the knight commander after using that fire spell and nearly hurting everyone in her class -- yes it was a mistake but she still did it. What if the knight commander heard these rumors? Will she be in trouble again?

Azura stared walking down the stairs but her eyes widened slightly seeing Cullen walking up the stairs. Her heart started to race under her robe. Oh no. She shouldn't even be out of her dorm at this time! She could just turn around and run back up the stairs and hid in Petra's room. Azura looked over her shoulder but before she could run back up the staircase he stopped right at her side.

"Azura?" He questioned with a raised brow. "What are you doing up so late?"

Marker, her heart was racing under her chest so fast that she scared she might have a heart attack. "I was with Petra," she whispered up to him. "Petra heals my hand every night. I know it is past my curfew, but I need her to heal my wound."

Cullen was silent for a moment as he gazed down at her. They were both silent and Azura couldn't even look at him. At this point she isn't sure if she scared or embarrassed.

"Let's go," he spoke in a whisper as he walked back the stairs. Azura didn't even think twice and followed right behind him. Once they were back on the second floor they walked side by side, slowly, not to make too much sound. Azura wanted to ask why he wasn't going to punish her like the other templars would have if they found her like he just did. However, she isn't going to push her luck. They walked past the open doors to the balcony of the second floor, and he stopped walking. She paused as well and looked up at him but did not say anything. He looked toward the open balcony and nodded his head toward it and her eyes widened. No apprentice is allowed on the balcony without a mage or enchanter with them; it is to make sure they aren't tempted to jump to their death or for false freedom. Azura has actually never been on the balcony her entire 15 years of life.

He walked through the doors and tuned back to look at her. She stood in the middle of the door frame but shook her head at him. This is too far! She cannot break the rules like this.

"Azura," he spoke her name so softly it nearly caused her legs to shake. "It's okay to be out here if I am with you."

Yes, that is true. So, she isn't breaking the rules. Her hand gripping the door's frame slowly fell to her side. She slowly walked over to him and the night's cold air brushed against her pale skin. She walked over to his side and looked straight a head toward the mountains. The darkness of night cased a blanket over the landscape, but it was so beautiful. There was a small window in the girl's dorm, but it does not show the landscape like this does. No windows, no frame -- just the outside world right in front of her. Azura walked to the edge and gripped the stone railing as she looked at the landscape before her. Marker, now she understands why some apprentices and mages have jumped from this very spot. The ideal of freedom is so close, but yet so far away. Azura looked up to the bright stars above them. There are so many! She wants to know all their names, and if they don't have names, she will name them.

"I think it is silly that apprentices can't come on the balconies," his voice neatly startled her. She had forgotten he was there.

She returned her gaze back toward the mountains in front of them. "Well, I heard apprentices jumped from here in the past," her voice was low as she imagined what it would be to actually jump from this very spot. Marker, they must have felt so alone to do such a thing.

"Yes," he leaned against the stone railing. "I heard the same."

The pair were silent as they both stared at the mountains. Lake Calenhad looked much smaller from up and if she squinted her eyes enough she could see the docks on the other side of the lake. The moon's light shined on the lake below them and the sound of nature surrounded them. There wasn't an awkward silence between them, no, it was the opposite. It just felt nice to be around him in this very moment.

"Thank you," she turned her attention over to him. His gaze moved from the mountains over to her and a soft smile appeared on his lips.

"Of course," his voice was low. Instead of breaking their eye contact, she kept it and so he did.

"You do a lot of nice things for me," she moved her body closer to him. "You could get in trouble doing this, you know?"

He was silent for a moment, but didn't break their eye contact. "I know," his voice was low but his honey colored hues shined in the moon's light. His hand starched the back of his neck. "But, I am willingly to get in a little trouble for you."

Her heart started to race under her chest again, but this feeling was different from before. There was no fear or embarrassment. No, this was a new feeling and it scared and excited her at the same time. The pair kept their eye contact as they both leaned in closer to one another, until their faces were close to touching.

“This is very much not allowed,” he whispered as their lips were inches apart from one another. The thought to stop had crossed her mind, but right now, she is afraid she cannot stop. 

“I know,” she replied with a hush voiced. Their lips lingered close to one another, but then he leaned forward to connect them. As their lips connected she felt like a blossomed flower in spring: a feeling she never thought possible. She sighed against his lips in relief as her body leaned in closer to his. His iron gloved hand rested on the side of her head, his gloved fingers resting behind her braided bun. Their lips moved gracefully across one another as his arm wrapped around her shoulders and dragged her against his chest. His iron armor felt foreign against her cotton mage robe, and her hand desperately searched for any visible skin of his. 

She broke their kiss for a moment to only catch her breath but like a possessed blood mage he reclaimed her lips. They both moaned softly, and her hands rested on the side of his neck. Her fingertips feeling the start of his beard stumble, and in a crash of a wave of confidence, she gently cupped his neck and brought him closer to her. His arms left her shoulders and one of his hands rested on the stone railing behind her, while the other wrapped around her waist. Her body was pressed tightly against his armors and she wanted to claw away at his armor to just feel him. His tongue pressed against her lower lip and she sighed, letting his tongue meet hers. His hand moved from her waist to the side of her face, cradling her face as their tongues danced together in their mouths. Her fingernails dug into the skin of his neck. The air around them was getting too heavy, but Marker, she doesn't want to stop.

However, he broke their kiss but kept his hand on the side of her face. Their breath was short, panting, as they stared into each other's eyes.

"That was not allowed," she whispered to him, but did not move her hands from his neck.

"I know," he responded and his iron covered fingers gently stroked at her pale skin.

"We," she paused and broke their eye contact looking toward the lake below them. Marker, now they have really done it! If anyone were to ever find out about this...she doesn't even want to think about it. "We shouldn't have done this!"

"I know," his voice was lower than before as he stroked the side of her face. "I'm sorry...I just...I've liked you for so long, and I know this is wrong, I just...." his words trailed off as his gazed lowered to the stone below them.

Azura stared at him. So, Jowan was right all along. However, she won't tell him that. How blind has to been to this? How long has he liked her? The better question is how long how she liked him? She always thought this was impossible. They are told that templars and mages can never be together. Yet, here they are in one another's embrace. Azura removed her hands from his neck, and placed them on his armored shoulders.

"We have to keep this a secret." His gaze returned back to hers as she looked at him with her moon colored hues. "That means you cannot stare at me in class anymore."

He chuckled and the sound was so lovely; like the bells of the chantry. "Marker, was I that obvious?"

She leaned into his hand cradling her face and she smiled back to him with a nod. He leaned in closer to him and their foreheads touched one another. His honey colored hues gazed into her moon colored hues. They both closed their eyes and kissed once again under the view of the moon. Only the moon will know their secret.


End file.
